I can't go on like this
by Raven Beleren
Summary: How the "I was faking most of it" scene could have gone on. Suck at Sums, pls R&R


**Random Fluff-OneShot that popped into my mind. I wanted to use it as a part of "Remembering" but it just wasn't fitting in so… here it goes. How the "I was faking most of it" scene could have gone on without Ric. **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, sadly.**

I can't go on like this.

_Do it for me Damon._

Her words found their way back into his head the way she looked at him right now. She had asked him to _do it for her,_ like he could resist her biddings. He couldn't go on like this. The look in her eyes practically said that she was somehow relieved he had been faking it, but he couldn't go on like this. He was sick of pretending. Sick of being the fill-in. He was well aware of the fact that she loved his dear brother no matter how cruel and cold he was. She gave her love to him like some kind of gift, while he himself had to fight. Fight for her trust, fight for her friendship and now he was fighting again while Stefan just _got_ it. She was asking him to help her bring back the Stefan she loved while he loved her just as much, knowing he would never have her. They both knew it, when she had asked him, they had both known. He couldn't go on like this.

"Everything I did was for you" he said in a low voice and put the first aid kit a side. "But I can't do this anymore." He stepped away from her and looked down.

He knew perfectly well that she knew what he was talking about and he was exhausted. He was tired of being the one to bring it up. But he just couldn't go on like this.

Elena just looked at him. She knew what he was talking about. He was right, he did everything she asked of him, no matter how much it hurt himself, he did it 'cause she asked him to. She knew she was on dangerous territory right now but she couldn't go and leave him. Her head yelled at her legs to move, yelled at her to get the hell up and go but she didn't. Her mind flashed back to when she had asked him to _do it for her_ again. Her mind had raced when he had spun her around and touched her. Her breathing had got ragged and she wasn't able to stop her body from responding to him. She feared the effect his closeness had on her so she just stayed where she was. And she feared what his words could mean.

_I can't do this anymore._

"You want me to help you getting him back, while I'm standing right here." Had she really no idea what she asked of him? What torment she was putting him through? How could she ask him, a man in love with her, to help her get further away from him? That was what he was, a man in love. Aside from his vampire side, he was after all a man. A man she made feel again. He had been fine in his dark world without emotion, but she broke his heart open. How could anyone blame him now for falling for her? He couldn't go on like this.

"No matter how hard I fight, no matter what I do… I will never earn your love." He looked up and searched her brown eyes with his blue ones.

She didn't know what to say. What to do. He was right but at the same time, he couldn't be more wrong. He was right, she asked a lot if not everything of him and he had been willing to give. But it was enough. She had known that this point would come and she had feared it. She knew he loved her, how could she not? His actions made it pretty clear that he was in love with her. Not a head over heels love like Stefan and she had shared, his love had grown from hate to friendship and finally this all-consuming love. But he was so wrong. He had earned more than just love. She had to admit it at some point. She was in love with him, the love she felt for him was different. It was burning low in her heart and as she kept on denying it, it had burned a hole in her heart. She knew that the day would come when she couldn't fight it anymore. She didn't want to love him, she knew it was wrong but there was no sense in fighting it anymore, she had lost Stefan already, she was selfish enough to admit that she wanted to keep the remaining brother as close as possible.

"You're wrong." She managed to whisper. She got down from where she sat and slowly walked over to him. As she was in front him she breathed in deeply. "You're wrong if you think I don't see your fight. I wished it wouldn't be that hard for us…" he raised an eyebrow as she said that last part "but it is. You know… you earned more than…" she paused and looked away from his eyes, this was so damn hard. After fighting so long, admitting was a difficult task. "…more than love. You earned my trust and respect."

Damon closed his eyes and breathed in. How long had he been waiting for this? As he opened his eyes again to look at her, he found her looking anxious at him. Like he would reject her now. He was a monster yes, but he was no fool. He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled. She reached for his hands and entwined his fingers with hers. This was where he wanted so stay for eternity. In her heart. His existence could go on like _this_.

**Liked it? Hated it? Please let me know! R&R**


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